I've Never
by Franchise
Summary: Also known as what the Higurashi gang does when they get tired of playing cards and board games.


In reflection no one could remember whose idea it was. It seemed to have occurred more as a matter of circumstances. It was raining heavily that day, everyone was stuck inside Rika's house while being bored out of their minds, and the gang had just happen to stumble upon the young girl's secret collection of beer and alcohol. Now normally in this sort of situation, people would question why Rika had all this alcohol or at least try to stage an intervention. But once again the group was bored so someone ended up suggesting that they play a drinking game instead.

The game was called 'I've never' and as Mion explained, the rules were simple. Each person would take turn started by saying the words 'I've never' followed by something that person had never done. Then if any of the rest of them had done that statement, they would have to take a drink, simple as that.

And thus the great competition began with everyone starting with basic statements and jokes that generated a few laughs.

"I never tried to steal anything cute and take it home with me" Shion started off causing Rena to take the first drink.

Rena's turn was next and she said, "I've never created any death traps"

Satoko cursed her luck as she took her first sips of alcohol.

"Ha, she got you good there" Shion laughed.

Satoko glared across the table and decided that some revenge on her precious nee-nee was in order. "I've never switched places with my twin sister"

Shion stopped laughing and Satoko started in her place. Shion glanced over at Mion. The two sisters gave each other a mock hug for support before downing their drinks at the same time.

When Mion's turn came up, she decided to pick her favourite target. "I've never lost the majority of every single game or activity our club has played"

Keiichi didn't complain and took his drink like a man. Still he had expected something like this and had a counter statement ready. "Well I've never cheated to win the majority of the games"

"Damn" Mion muttered as she took her second drink of the night.

While it started off nicely, eventually everyone ended up with a few drinks in them and the statements got a little bit weirder as well.

It was once again Rika's turn. She looked around the table at her gathered friends before promptly stating, "I've never gone insane and went on a murderous rampage"

Silence followed from the group and nobody moved a drink closer to their lips.

"You've all done it at least once so drink up, gulp, gulp" Rika insisted.

No one wanted to argue with such a dear friend so they all quickly took a drink.

As she finished her alcohol and tossed the cup away, Satoko glanced over at Rika. "Hey Rika, I just want you to know that I love you, okay?" she said slurring every second or third word.

"I love you to Satoko. You're a great friend to me" Rika responded back cheerfully.

"No, I mean like as in true love. In fact we should get married right now"

Rika ignored the marriage proposal and instead looked over her friend's face more closely. "Satoko, are you about to be sick?"

"Umm…yes"

"Try not to throw up on top of Hanyu" Rika said indicating the spot on the floor where Hanyu had passed out after having just one drink.

"Right" the blonde girl nodded before she tilted her head to the side and started puking.

At the sight of Satoko, the newest member of the group grew a bit concerned. Well technically he was more like the newest rejoined member.

"Hey guys, maybe we should stop now" Satoshi suggested. "My sister doesn't look too good"

Satoshi was pretty sure that drinking was not healthy for young children. Doctor Irie had told him that once. Or was that smoking? Or maybe it was both. Satoshi wasn't really sure. Being in a coma state for a few years really interferes with your thought process.

"You could be right" Shion said as she looked over at the young girl then back at her long time crush. "Hey, how about you come back to my place and we can play some more personal games, just the two of us?"

"I really don't think that would be a good idea" Satoshi said politely.

"Let the game continue then!" Shion declared loudly as she shoved another beer into Satoshi's arms. Obviously her man needed to drink some more.

Rika laughed at this as she took another drink. Rika in fact had taken more drinks then anyone else as she pretty much took one with every single statement.

"Rika, you know you're not supposed to drink every single time. You just drink when we say something that you've done before" Keiichi finally said.

"I know that. Say something I haven't done and I won't take a drink, nipa" Rika responded happily.

Keiichi's brain process was a bit slow at the moment so it took him a couple of minutes to think of something. "I got it! I've never had sex with Keiichi" he declared proudly slamming his beer down on the table in triumph.

Rika stared at him for a moment before quickly chugging the rest of her bottle of wine in a matter of seconds. "Been there done that" she said in a completely serious tone.

The boy stared back in shock. "What? When? Why?"

"I got bored a couple of decades ago and there are not that many guys to choose from around here. You were pretty good by the way"

Before Keiichi could try to argue how that was impossible, Mion suddenly threw her arm around him. "Hey I'm planning to have sex with Keiichi after he loses the game. Can I still take a drink?"

Rika shrugged. "Go for it"

"Yay" Mion cheered as she stole Keiichi's beer and started drinking.

Rena, who was actually a lot better at holding her liquid then anyone would have thought, decided that now was the perfect time. Since everyone seemed distracted, she stood up and grabbed a hold of Hanyu. Then she raced off at a speed that would put any track star to shame to get her cute new prize home.

Keiichi moaned as Mion snuggled in closer to him while trying to pull his shirt off. "I knew playing this game was a bad idea. How come we never have any real parental supervision?"

Rika looked over at him. "It's not that bad. Besides everybody plays drinking games these days"

"I find that very hard to believe"

-----3 years later and in a completely different type of reality----

"I've never believed in magic or witches" A man with red hair and wearing a white suit yelled.

The man leaped up out of his chair and pointed an accusing finger at his collected enemies while holding a half filled drink with the other.

"Curse you Battler!" Beatrice the golden witch yelled as she was forced to take a drink. Besides her, Ronove and her furniture, the seven sisters of purgatory, also took a drink.

"Ha, there is no way you can defeat me" Battler declared confident despite the fact that the odds were pretty much nine against one. "I come from a rich backstabbing family. Drinking is a speciality of ours!"

"Oh really?" Beatrice paused for a moment before speaking again only this time it was in the red text. "I've never been able to defeat Beatrice in a single game"

"What? Noooo…" Battler cried in despair as he now had to take another drink.

"Ha ha ha. You are the one who should surrender Battler. Soon you will be completely drunk and then you will finally acknowledge that you love me. No, wait. I mean that you will acknowledge me as a witch" The witch held a hand to her aching forehead. "I am so wasted right now. Ronove, defeat him for me"

"Yes my lady" Ronove said bowing. He took a moment to come up with a good one. "Ah, yes. I've never complained about not having a man in my life"

Every single pair of female eyes glared over at Ronove as they took their drinks.

"Ronove you idiot" Beatrice cried out. The witch got out of her seat to strike her servant but instead lost her balance and fell to the floor.

"Yeah, guys rule!" Battler said as he ran over and gave the butler a high five.

Off to one side of the room were Bernkastel and Lambdadelta who were watching the spectacle with a mixture of annoyance and pity.

"How much longer are they going to make fools of themselves before we get a new game started?" Lambdadelta complained.

Bernkastel looked over the scene. "They'll probably stop playing soon but it'll be quite a few hours yet before all of them are sober again"

"Hours!? Come on people, just because we have all of eternity doesn't mean you need to take that long!"

"All we can do now is keep waiting patiently" Bernkastel lifted up a goblet filled with wine and took a small sip, "Cheers"

Lambdadelta lifted her own cup up while grumbling at the rival witch "…Cheers"


End file.
